this kills me

ti kills me to think that you've moved on already. and the thought that i'm the reason you moved on is even worse. it must kill you to be in your position. i have no idea. and i am so so so so so so so very sorry. i will be jealous. i just hope that i have something to hold onto when this is all done. i'm sad. i'm hurt. i'm angry. i'm not fully over you yet. i did start to love you. you were everything i wanted. but i just had to try this just one last time.

all of me

that took almost every ounce of me to write. and it feels good to let you know how i feel. but i haven't gotten a response from you yet. just a facebook friend denial. again. that kills me. our friendship started there. and now i think that's where it's ending. i'm too grown up to have these feelings. and i'm a bitch for stringing poor kyle around. same thing with blakes 1 and 2. i realize now that i did it all to be close to you. they all reminded me of you in some way. this could be our love story. the beginning struggle. i hear the soundtrack, i see the tears forming. too bad i don't know how this ending is going to go down. hopefully with me in your arms until september. for so long i couldn't wait for that date to come. now i want to go back in time. to a week ago. and tell you how i really felt.

this is so my notebook.

you've taken over me

i don't really know how to feel about this one. i hope you know you really screwed with my mind. you really made me into a monster. and i don't think you could care less. i really want to like this boy. i really want to be able to have a relationship with him. but because of you that's all been tampered with and it really pisses me off.

and i know i'm obsessive but i just have to know. what happened to that call. i heard yelling and then nothing. then call goes blank. this is scary. i hope you're okay.